Here I Am~~

okies...it feels a lilttle bit weird for me...
wondering why I'm so easy to get emo lately....
but i'm trying to chill myself~~~
because i'm always tell myself that i am a happy girl =)
i guess most of my friends have the same feeling...
sometimes we just don't feel like to do something that others ask or request for...
we wish to reject...but...
in some conditions...we just don't have the right to choose...
it might be our fault or it might carries some bad effects if we never follow...
sigh..we got no choice...we can only obey...
i don't like this kind of feeling...
honestly i'm not an obedient girl...
everyone can just say me as a naughty girl...
and i admit i am...when comes to this i never try to hide...
and i know i am quite straight forward...
may be i grew older...my mind is more mature?? i think just a lilttle bit more mature..
some how i don't want to see anyone feel disappointed when i never follow what they say...
thus i will do what they wish to...
it may sounds so wrong...but what to do besides that??
it is hard to change the environment and others...
why not i'm just start from myself and change myself to adapt it???
yet...i am still immature now...
but i have confident that i am getting more mature day to day...
sometimes...i'll just find myself some works...
and clear my mind,keep on thinking when i'm doing the works...
i started to understand myself...
i will always think to negative side initially....
but i wonder why...there is always a power or a kind of spirit??
i'm not so sure as well...
will always changes my mind and think to positive side...
at last...i always make myself smile...no doubt that is not pretending to be happy..
that is...i found out to view the incident from another degrees...
for some people...they may think it's a kid of silly action which idiots trying to make themselve happy and escape from problems...
but...why cant we let ourselve live happily???
even how sad we are...does the sadness can help us???
no right??? it will only makes us down...
the way for me is...
i may looks quiet and serious at first...because at that time i was thinking about some serious business...
well...after that i will never continue to sad...
i will chill myself and cheer myself up...
everyone has their own way to make themselve happier...
and i want to tell myself that...

"no one can hurt you,unless yourself...
people can cheer you up...but you have to stand up by yourself...
every difficulty can be solved if you want to...
all problems have their own solutions...
if there is no solution for the problem,it is not a problem anymore..
obstacles cant hit you down if you're not willing to give up and let yourself fall down!!!"

you are who you are...no joking with your life...
how long can one person live on this planet???
even it is 80years or more...
it's still not enough time to let you finish all the things you want to do...
so why we are here to waste our time to sad???!!!
smart people will never do anything that useless for them...
so you are one of the smart people or????